Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
