this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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