they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
