I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
