but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize