yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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