This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
