:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
