Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
