My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
