You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
