Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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