I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
