How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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