I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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