Plan B is the new Plan A
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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