I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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