i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
