I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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