You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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