I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
