careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
