So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
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