marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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