ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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