I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
