How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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