i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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