Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
