all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
