i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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