so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
i now understand why vodka
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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