I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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