I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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