sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
