My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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