I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
