he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
