THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
