he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
