you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
