woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
