Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
