but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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