so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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