I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
