my mouth tastes like poor choices
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
