You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
3pm strippers are depressing
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
