She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
