I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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