you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
