Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
