he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Sober January is a disaster.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
