ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
