My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
