I swear she didn't look like that last week.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
