Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
