pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
