Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
