his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
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