that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
